How To Save A Life
by MosherGurl
Summary: Prequel to the oneshot 'Change Of Heart' ...A and B had grown up together, become best friends. How will he react when he believes A killed herself from the pressure of becoming the next L? And when he is killed because of L and Kira, how will A take it?
1. My Meeting With The Boy Named B

The skies were dark and angry as the rain pelted harshly against the glass of the library I was currently sat in. Ignoring the book I was reading to watch the weather, lost in my thoughts. The only sounds being the rain and my breathing. Even for a library it was unusually quiet, myself being the only soul in the room. It was quite eerie to be honest, but I was thankful for the peace and quiet. The expectations of this place were unbelievable. If I wasn't badgered by the teachers, then it was the other orphans asking stupid questions. Yes _orphans_. I am currently residing in Wammy's house for the gifted. Ha, yeah right. _Gifted_. Other than myself the most gifted child here is one who can push his finger surprisingly far up his nose. The kids are smart for their ages, I can not deny that, but to call them gifted is an over exaggeration.

The door creaked open and jumped lightly upon hearing the sudden noise. I quickly turned my gaze to see the intruder of my alone time. A boy poked his head around the door. He looked to be around 8 - 9 years old, not much older than myself. I had never seen this boy before, must be new. He met my gaze and I had to admit I was surprised; his eyes were _red_. How curious... The boy stepped further into the room before pressing his thumb to his lip, examining me as I turned in my seat doing the same. Shaggy black hair, pale greyish skin and loose fitting clothes. He also seemed to have a natural hunch. I screwed my nose up lightly. Save from his eyes this boy was-

"_Boring_..."

I blinked once, twice; before realising those weren't my thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

He lowered his hand from his mouth before stuffing them into his pockets.

"Your appearance is boring."

I turned further around in my seat to fully face this newcomer who had so openly insulted me with a small smile.

"I could say the same about you. Such a _poor _attempt in clothing yourself."

The corners of his lips turned up in a very small smile, almost unnoticeable. The first emotion I have seen cross his face upon his entering. Just who _was _this stranger?

"You're new."

"That seems to be an obvious statement. You were the first one to come to this orphanage, correct?"

I screwed my nose up again, he wasn't like the other children here.

"I was."

He nodded before shuffling closer to me;

"I am B."

"A."


	2. My Unbelievable Day

I continued to stare at the board; _unbelievable_.

_**A: 96%**_

_**B: 92%**_

Other than myself no other student has gotten a higher score than 64%. The things we studied and the tests were remarkably hard. B had not been here longer than a month and he has already caught up _this _much. Just who the hell _is _he? Where did he _come _from? If this kept up then he might take my place as L's successor..._no_. I mustn't think like that. _I _was next in line, not _B_. I pinched the bridge of my nose and looked back at the board once more. _unbelievable_.

"A. I see you're checking out the scores. You did well. Wonderful isn't it?"

I turned to face the boy I was just thinking about. Thumb pressed against his lower lip, face as stoic as ever. I screwed my nose up at him.

"Yeah, it's great."

"You don't sound too happy."

_Because of you_. I shook my head at him and forced a smile.

"No, I am happy. I was just thinking is all."

"Oh, I see."

He turned and started to shuffle away before stopping and glancing over his shoulder at me.

"Would you like to go and get something to eat?"

I blinked, we've barely spoken since our meeting in the library and now he wanted to eat with me? I didn't think much of it though and nodded briefly at the young boy. Lunch couldn't hurt. I was getting hungry anyway. I begun walking as he followed by my side. Not a word was spoken, but I couldn't help but glance down at him. Yes, _down_. He was undoubtedly taller than I am, but being hunched over like that made him look a lot smaller.

"You know your going to get back pains if you keep hunching like that."

"I don't do this because I want to."

My nose screwed up; then _why did _he do it? I forgot about it as we entered the cafeteria and I eyed the food. My hunger was more important than why he played Hunchback.

"What are you having B?"

He didn't reply, but rather picked up a jar of jam before shuffling over to the table he wanted to sit at. In the corner and out-of-the-way. I couldn't help but scoff lightly at his rudeness but decided to ignore it. I picked up a cheese sandwich and some cheese strings before hesitantly joining him. I couldn't help but notice he sat like a perched bird. This guy just kept getting weirder and _weirder_. But I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't find it intriguing.

"So A, I'm certain that you've heard you are next in line to replace L. That's quite an achievement."

I glanced up at him as he took off the top of his jam before looking at me directly. Where was this going?

"That's right."

"Then it seems we'll be studying together. Watari spoke to me earlier today. It appears that we're both perfect candidates."

I was shocked to say the least. This is exactly what I was worried about, but I refused to show it. Not when he was looking at me so intently. He obviously wants a reaction. Well he wasn't _getting _one. I smiled brightly at the strange boy;

"That's great. But it's no surprise really. I have seen your work and the scores you got on the previous test. It was bound to happen."

He smiled lightly at my reply and put his hand into the jar, scooping a handful of jam and shoving it in his mouth. I tried my best not to cringe. That _can't _be nice, not to mention _unhygienic_. I took a bite out of my sandwich as he glanced at my choice of food.

"You know, that's not good for you. Too much cheese."

And what _you're _doing is good for you?!

"Maybe not, but I like it regardless."

"You should try sugary foods. It is the brains main power source after all."

I screwed my nose again, of course I knew this. But what I didn't know was _who the hell did this guy think he was_!?


	3. My Realization

_"The murder weapon isn't there. What do you do?"_

_"Search for footprints, fingerprints or any form of DNA."_

_"Such as?"_

_"Part of their clothing, hair and blood."_

_"You can't find anything. What does that show?"_

_"That we have one hygienic killer."_

_"Dammit A! Stop joking around! You'll never be L if you keep up the wise cracks! You may be the smartest one here, but don't forget your goal!"_

**xXxXx**

"A, are you alright?"

I peaked under my arm from my downward position on my bed to face the deep voice that addressed me.

"Yes B. I'm fine."

"You don't look it."

I groaned and sat up to face the now 16-year-old B. Time hadn't been good to him. He looked _exactly _the same as when he was a child, just bigger. I still don't understand why he insists on looking like that. I think that the only thing that has changed about him is his personality. I can't exactly put my finger on it, but he seems darker. More sinister to what he was as a boy. I screwed my nose at the annoying male who I now called my best friend and tore my gaze away from his intense crimson eyes.

"You needn't worry about me B."

"It's because of _L_, isn't it?"

I cringed lightly before scowling at the male. He ignored it and shuffled over to take a seat beside me on the bed.

"The pressure seems to be getting to us both."

"I'm not feeling pressured B. People are just expecting too much of me. I'm not L, I _can't _keep up with him."

"That sounds like pressure to me."

I groaned and flopped back onto my bed as he lay down beside me.

"Seriously, I'm just a little overworked is all. It's always _'L this' _or _'L that' _it drives me crazy. I'm _A _god dammit!"

I briefly turned my head to see B staring intently at me causing me to flush.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, I'm glad you did. I've noticed anyway because of your actions these past few weeks. Maybe now you've talked about it you'll feel better. People shouldn't expect you to be _L _anyway."

Why is it that every time he said L, it's like he was disgusted with the letter? I ignored it and shrugged at him as my reply. Signalling this conversation was over. He lightly gripped my hand and I smiled, forgetting my woes for the moment. Weirdness aside, B really was a great friend. If it weren't for him then I think I may have gone insane.

"Do you ever think about leaving this place A?"

I briefly looked at him. What brought that on? I shook my head, no. _I _had my goal in life. _I _was next in line. _I _was the next L. I smiled at the thought. The next L. _Me_. I have worked so hard all these years for this. I yawned lightly, rolling over to face the crimson eyed man with a small smile.

"No, I haven't. Everything's going according to plan."

B furrowed his eyebrows.

"It's killing you A. You're always stressed and tired. You never stop studying. And because of this ambition that the teachers have put in your head; it's all you think about. _They _set this goal for you, _you _didn't do it for yourself."

"No, I want this."

"Then why don't you sound convincing?"

I eyed him briefly as he tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear with a small scowl on his face. He then got up and headed over to the door, refusing to look at me. I sat up at this, he's never been mad at me before.

"If you want to be _L _so badly then go for it. But I think it's a waste of time. It'll be your own funeral."

With that he left. What was that about?

**xXxXx**

_No_, this can't be right! There must be some mistake! I've never gotten lower than a 92% in my life! But there it was, clear as day; _mocking me._

"86%..."

"A!"

I jumped and turned my head to my current teacher. He was tapping his foot impatiently at me. He didn't look happy at all. I swallowed hard at this as I could feel my palms begin to sweat.

"You've seen your test score I see. Come, we have much to do."

_More work?_ No. That can't be possible! I study all the time! There isn't possibly anymore I _can _do! I can't do it! My body can't take it! My _mind _can't take it!

"N-no... **NO MORE**!"

I didn't think, I just turned and ran. It was all I could do. Run from the teacher, run from the pressure, run from _everything_. I finally made my way outside to the lake near by Wammy's. My breathing ragged, my legs tired. But just _watching _this river flow made me smile, made me feel like it was taking my problems with it. _I felt free_. Glancing back at the orphanage in the distance I frowned and remembered the words B said to me.

_**'Do you ever think about leaving this place A?'**_

I smiled bitterly to myself as I clutched my room key in my pocket. My hand feeling warm and sticky from the blood seeping through the wound. I snapped my eyes open as I realized what I had done and pulled my hand out, glancing at the red substance that reminded me of B's eyes. I saw a drop of water fall onto the wound, enhancing the red colour as more fell. I looked up and dropped my hand to my side. The water trailing down my cheek instead, I was _crying_. I realized I had made B mad at me. My only friend in that God forsaken place. All because I listened to the teachers over my own thoughts. I placed my hands over my ears and shook my head violently, I couldn't form a coherent thought as a screech left my vocals; collapsing to my knees.

"I don't want to be the next L! I want to live in a house in a little village! I want to have a normal life with a man who loves me and have children! I want to work as a part time baker so I can always pick up the kids from school and take them to the park! I _don't _want to be L! _**NO**_!"

I tightly wrapped my arms around my quaking body, realization suddenly hitting me. I didn't want to be L. _I never did_. I secretly always envied the kids and adults walking around outside the orphanage with their normal lives. I rose to my feet, removing my blood stained jacket before looking up at Wammy's. then back to the river.

"I am _not _L... I am _A_! Alessa Newcastle!"


	4. My Decent Into Madness

**DISCLAIMER: THIS CHAPTER IS IN B'S POV**

I awoke to the sound of rushed feet and loud voices. Briefly glancing at the clock I scowled at the bright red numbers that read; _3.18_. It was way past curfew. What were these people doing up? And why weren't the teachers doing anything about it? I sighed and rose from my bed, about to confront the children when I froze in my tracks upon hearing something that made my blood run cold.

"It's A! Apparently something's happened to her!"

Something happened to A? _What_? Was she ok?! I quickly tore through my door, grabbing the first child I saw by his shoulders.

"What about A?! Where is she?!"

"I-I don't know... The teachers have been running around talking about it-"

I didn't give the child time to finish as I headed for Watari's office at a speed I didn't know I possessed. Something had happened to A, I had to know what. Upon reaching his office I burst through the door, seeing my target sitting behind his desk.

"Watari, what-"

I stopped; my vocals froze, all my anger gone. I felt numb... I don't think I felt anything at all. I was just vaguely aware of my hand lifting and pointing to a soaked jacket that lay on Watari's desk...covered in blood.

"A was wearing that yesterday."

My voice was hoarse. I hadn't even realized I'd spoken. Watari looked down, avoiding my gaze.

"I am sorry B. But it seems that the stress of becoming the next L had driven A to commit suicide. It happened by the lake close to here. She threw herself on a sharp rock, but I'm afraid the river has already washed away her corpse. I'm truly sorry. I knew how close you two were."

I clenched my teeth, barely aware of the pain that shot through my jaw and the grinding sound that followed.

"You're _sorry_? **Sorry**?! If it wasn't for you so _obsessed _with her becoming the next _L _then this wouldn't have happened! You didn't know her! You didn't see what this was doing to her!"

I had things hard too, I was also feeling the pressure, but not like A. Being number 1 came with a price. Being number 2; I knew I was changing, also. I begun to hate everything. Especially _L_. I pointed an accusing finger at the old man, but his face never changed. Did he feel _nothing _for her death?!

"Does _L _know?"

Watari nodded;

"And?"

"He says he's sorry to have lost such a valuable candidate, and to tell you sorry as well. He feels for you."

My gaze darkened. _A valuable candidate_? That's all he saw us as? I had met the man once, and I wasn't impressed with his behavior to be honest, I _hated _him... but _this_? I _loathed _the man...

"_You all make me sick_... You don't care about us. All you care about is your precious _L_. What were we to you?! Test subjects?!"

"B calm down. Now that A is gone you-"

"Don't you dare!"

I glared heatedly at the old man before me, clenching my fists so tight I could feel blood drip through my fingers.

"_Don't you dare_... You pushed A into this. And only moments after she's gone you're talking about replacing her? Well I won't suffer the same fate. _I am not L, _neither was A. We're better than he is, do you hear me? **We're better**! I refuse to be _L_!"

I turned and stormed out of Watari's office and to my room. Why did I never look at her lifespan?! Why could I never bring myself to know when she was going to die?! If I had even just glanced at it then maybe I could've stopped this! At that point I don't know what happened, I just snapped. And when I calmed down and could think again; my room was a mess. furniture was thrown, glass strewn, my hands bloody. I looked at the blood coating my hands..._just like on A's jacket_. I felt myself grinning as I shook with laughter. I had a plan. Oh, _and a plan it was_. My laughter increased, head thrown back.

"I'm going to do it A! For us! L is nothing! I won't be like you though, _no...no_... I'm going to get L... I will be the _anti-L_! The world's best _criminal_! I will commit a crime even he can't solve! Then we'll have our vengeance! **Do you hear me A?!"**

A laugh left my throat, a manic one I didn't know I was capable of. I was going to beat L, _oh I was._


	5. My Fateful Night

"Ah, what a beautiful morning."

I smiled as I looked out of my window at the bright blue sky. England had always been horrible for weather, it seemed to always be raining and we hardly ever had sunny days. Moving to L.A. was a good idea. And Third Avenue was such a lovely place. I shuffled into the living room and sat with my coffee cheese toasty, just enjoying the peace and birds singing. It was my day off from the bakery so I was going to enjoy it. Taking a bite out of my toast I leant my head back against the sofa, relaxing.

**Knock, knock, knock!**

I groaned through a mouthful of food. _So much for relaxing_. I got up and headed to the door, opening it to find on the other side. A sweet old lady who lived next door, she looked a little distressed.

"Oh good you're ok."

I tilted my head at her and smiled. This seemed to happen a lot. She'd see something on the news and check round her neighbours to make sure they were ok and informed of the problem. Sweet? Yes, albeit a little weird.

Yes, why wouldn't I be ?"

"You haven't seen the news yet? Well a man named Believe Bridesmaid died the other day. He was drugged and strangled, can you believe it?"

I bit my lip to prevent from sighing, but this way at least she'll think it's because of pity for the man. I'm not heartless, I _do _feel for him. But when you studied cases like I did in Wammy's, murders seemed to become the norm.

"I see, that poor man."

"Yes, and he was single too. That's why I had to check in on you dear."

I couldn't help but giggle lightly at this.

"Well, thanks for the heads up. I'll make sure to be careful."

I shut the door and went back to my breakfast. Maybe I'd do some shopping today. I had cleaned yesterday so there wasn't much in the house for entertainment.

"Shopping it is."

And I did. Although I didn't buy anything. I ended up doing some window shopping, ran into some friends and went to lunch. We talked a little too much though as the sun had already gone down. I sped up a little, one could never be too careful. No matter where you lived. I reached Third Avenue and passed by a block of apartments, noticing a man _sneaking _off. It could just be a late night lover leaving before the husband got home. Or a teenager sneaking out to a party. But..._the way he walked_... No it couldn't be... But just to be sure, I followed him. He must have noticed my presence because he turned around. I kept my distance, noticing the outline of a baseball bat in his hand.

"Evening. What're you doing? A little late for a baseball game isn't it?"

I tried to sound casual and squinted my eyes to try see him better as all I could see was an outline, but didn't want to get any closer to him just in case.

"That may be so."

I felt my breath hitch, _that voice_...I had to be sure. Was it him?

"B? Is that you?"

The man froze and I saw the bat straighten as he gripped it tighter.

"Who are you?!"

He was obviously angry. Didn't he recognise me? The again it _is _dark.

"It's me, A. Don't tell me you've forgotten me already."

I took a step forward as B dropped the bat and charged at me, tackling me to the floor and gripping my throat with both his hands.

"That's a _lie_! Who do you work for?!"

I couldn't speak, his thumbs pressed tightly against my windpipe and I gripped at his wrists; trying to push him off of me. He loosened his grip lightly and I coughed, trying to catch my breath.

"What the _hell_, B? I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving but you were mad and I had to get out! You said you wanted to leave anyway, and look you have!"

"A _killed _herself!"

"No I didn't! I made it look like that just incase they came looking for me! I can't believe they told you the truth!"

B reached into his back pocket and pulled something out which I soon discovered was a little flash light as he shone it in my face. I squinted, not being able to even see his outline now. I felt his other hand slip from my throat as he lowered the torch and clicked it off.

"You're alive..."

I nodded briefly as B pushed himself off of me, allowing me to stand up.

"Since they told you I can't blame you for attacking me like that. But I never expected to find you here B. What brings you to L.A.?"

I stepped towards him;

"_Stay back_!"

I froze in place and heard him sigh heavily.

"We'll talk...another time. I have things I have to do."

"This late? Well why don't I help you? Then we can go get a drink or something."

I heard a low vibration from his throat, a laugh. It sounded _off _though. Not right. What was he laughing at anyway?

"No, another day."

He turned to walk off but I ran and caught his sleeve.

"Hang on, you're not just saying that to get rid- what is..."

I let him go, feeling something sticky on my hand. I smiled before wiping it on my jeans.

"Still into eating jam with your _hands _eh? But please B. Don't be mad. Talk to me today, just one drink."

"I'm not mad, just _go away_!"

He turned and I reached out for him again, a car driving by illuminated the area. _What I saw_...

"B? That's...You _didn't_!"

I stepped back from him, and to my dismay he turned around to face me. I suddenly didn't want to go for that drink anymore.

"A..."

I didn't let him finish, panic set in and I turned and ran. Even worse, I heard him _run after me_.

"Help! Someone help, please!"

A sharp pain...then darkness...


	6. My Nightmare

_**Scrape...**_

_Oh God_... What was that noise? My head is _killing _me... Did I drink too much last night?

_**Scrape...**_

A heavy groan left my lips as I pressed my hand to my forehead. Thankfully my palm was cold and soothed the ache slightly. How much had I drank? I don't even remember going to the pub... I remember mentioning going for a drink, but not actually going. Who was I going for a drink with?

"I'm sorry about your headache, A. But you left me no choice."

My eyes snapped open at the sudden voice. Was that _B_? Yeah, I _remember _now. I sat up to see that I was on a sofa in some sort of hotel. B was off to the side of me; sat as he usually does with a jam jar tipped upside-down above his head, a knife in his other hand as he appeared to be scraping the remnants from the bottom. I think that's the first time I've ever seen him use a utensil. I noticed his clothes were clean, opposed to what I saw him in last time. I looked down to see the bloody hand print I had put on my thigh when I thought I had touched jam on his sleeve...I suddenly felt disgusting.

"You needn't worry about that. I have some clean clothes that you can use. They'll fit."

"This is kidnapping you know."

"I've done worse things, so I'm not worried. And it was you who ran."

"You were covered in blood B. Just what had you done?"

He placed the empty jar on the table and turned to meet my gaze.

"The years have been good to you, A."

"Answer my question. I know that it wasn't from an injury. That much blood lost would have had some effect on you. So I'll ask again, _what have you done_?"

A smirk crossed B's face. It was different from the ones I used to look at, more manic.

"I _killed _Quarter Queen. Drugged her and beat her."

I know I asked, but I wish I didn't know now. I suppose I was just hoping it was my imagination, but no. He _actually _killed someone. I felt the bile rise in my throat, but swallowed it down. I knew Quarter Queen. She was a young girl that lived down the road from me. She was such a sweet kid. So why would he kill her? He answered my unspoken question.

"Her time was up anyway. So I used her in my plans. You needn't worry though A, you have a long life ahead of you. I'm thankful to see that. And I would never hurt you. _Ever_."

I screwed my nose up, what was he talking about? His smile grew.

"I see you still do that with your nose. That's good, I always liked it."

I turned in the sofa to fully face him. Had this happened because I left? Because I left him alone in that damned place? I remember him saying that Watari told him the truth, despite that whole confidentiality crap. Was it because of that?

"How did this happen to you B? Why did you kill Quarter Queen? What are you hoping to gain out of this?"

B rose to his feet and shuffled over to where I sat, plopping himself down next to me and holding my hand like he used to back at Wammy's.

"I did it for us."

"I don't understand."

"I thought you were _dead_, A. I was the only one who cared. Even _L _didn't care. I refused to become his successor and so arranged a plan for our vengeance. I'm going to become the worlds greatest criminal, the anti-L. And create a case even _he _can't solve."

As crazy as it sounded, I was touched by this. He cared about our friendship enough that he'd go through all this as vengeance for me, and to prove that he is better then the original that only cares for himself.

"But why a child? What did you mean by her time was up?"

He pressed a finger to my lips, I could smell the jam and feel it's stickiness against my skin.

"Promise not to tell anyone?"

I nodded lightly; I _had _to know.

"I can see people's names and lifespans. So even if I didn't kill her, something else would have."

I blinked confused. Was I supposed to believe this? Had he just gone overboard insane?

"You look skeptical; Alessa Newcastle."

I pulled back from him lightly. _He knew my name_. When my parents were alive I was a home birth and home schooled, they were the only people I ever saw. And when the fire hit _everything _was destroyed. I was the only one who knew who I was anymore, and I never told a soul. _He was telling the truth_.

"B, that's amazing."

"Or a curse."

I shook my head; no. It must be morbid to know when everyone around you is going to die, but it sounded pretty amazing to me. I held his hand tighter;

"More like a gift."

"You're not afraid?"

"You drugged her so she wouldn't feel anything. Which leads me to believe that you killed that Believe Bridesmaid fellow as well, since the same happened to him. But he lived so far away... You're trying to do what's right by you. Killing people who were only going to die anyway."

His smirk increased as he pulled me towards him in a tight hug, which I gladly returned.

"I knew you'd understand A! And I'm impressed that you worked that out!"

We let each other go and I smiled brightly at him. What he said; he wasn't doing wrong. He wasn't going after L, or anyone who's time isn't up. He just wants to prove himself, and I can understand that.

"When we're alone you can call me Alessa. I would like that."

B smiled lightly and held his hand out for me to shake.

"Beyond Birthday."


	7. My Helpful Hand

I sat with my nose screwed up, half a cheese sandwich discarded on the table. B had told me about his plans to beat L. I had to say it was crazy, _even for B. _I understand that he wanted to prove his worth, but _murdering_? I know that these people would die anyway, but it just felt..._wrong_. I shook my head to clear these thoughts; no. I had to be here for B. I had to support him.

"What do you think Alessa? Brilliant isn't it?"

I smiled at him and nodded despite every fiber of my being wanting to scream _you're nuts! Get help_! But I couldn't do that. What if he left me if I did? I saw what my leaving did to him the first time, I can't do it a second. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about him and now he's here; I don't plan on letting him go again.

"Would you like to know the details?"

I held my hands up and laughed nervously.

"No, I still can't get that baseball bat out of my head and know that it'd be better for my own peace of mind if you kept that information to yourself."

B smiled in understanding and lent over from his position on the couch to grab my hand.

"I still can't believe you're here. It's like a dream."

I placed my hand over his and beamed at the crimson eyed male, happy to know he missed me as much as I missed him.

"I guarantee you that I'm very real. And I'll never leave you again, Beyond."

His smile widened as his grip on my hand tightened at my use of his name. The look he gave me reminded me of how we were as kids. I couldn't help but feel a little warm inside at this. He let me go and lent back in his seat.

"I have some work that I need to do. So you are free to take that shower now if you wish."

I nodded and headed for the master bedroom to search for clothes, I didn't want to know about his work. Probably preparing another drug. I opened the closet and skimmed through it's contents. All of them were B's clothes; but I found some that would fit me loosely as I smiled at the shirt and jeans. I remember buying him these clothes a long time ago; '_Those are too big! Look they're hanging off of you! Try these will ya_?' I recall him saying they were too tight, but I knew that was a lie. I can't believe he kept them after all these years. I soon made a bee line for the bathroom afterwards, happy to get clean and be rid of these bloodied jeans. Once removed I couldn't help but stare at the dark red stain, running my thumb over it. I shuddered and threw them across the room. No longer wanting to keep them, let alone wash them.

**Knock, knock.**

"Are you alright in there Alessa?"

I turned to the door, hearing B's muffled voice through it.

"Uh, yeah!"

"I'm heading out for a while. I need to buy a Wara Ningyo. I shouldn't be too long."

I heard him shuffle off, but quickly ran to the door. Opening it enough to poke my head out.

"Wait, I'll go buy you one. Just let me shower first."

"You needn't do that Alessa."

"No, I want to help you. But there's only so much I can do. Like this for instance. You can have the shower after I'm done then and relax."

B smiled and nodded at me, shuffling away into the living room as I quickly hopped into the shower and threw B's clothes on after. I took a quick glance at myself in the mirror and screwed my nose. Why had I agreed to go and buy him a cursed doll? _I don't know_. I just want to help him in any way I can. I have to admit though, I was curious as to why he wanted them. despite not wanting to know for the sake of keeping pure thoughts on my best friend, my human curiosity just made it impossible.


	8. My Mistake

I sat and examined the straw doll in my hand. Pretty ugly and plain in my opinion. B said I could keep it, but to honest I didn't want the thing. I ended up buying 2, but B said he only needed one.

"What does he need you for?"

The straw doll lay lifeless in my hand, not giving me an answer as expected. B had been gone for a few hours now, and I was starting to get worried. I huffed and threw the doll on the table, losing interest in the ugly thing for now. I stood up and dusted myself off when I heard the door to the hotel open. B was back. I smiled and headed to the kitchen to prepare us both something to drink. He'd probably need it.

"Welcome back Beyond."

"Thank you."

I reached up into the cupboard and pulled out 2 cups.

"Is tea ok with you?"

I turned around, but a shock caused me to suddenly drop the cups I had held. They smashed on the floor, pieces scattering around the floor as I stared wide-eyed at the man in the doorway.

"Be careful Alessa, I don't want you hurting yourself."

"I-I'll clean it up. I must've had a crappy hold on them."

I quickly knelt to the floor, dragging my eyes away from B, and thankful for it too. I begun to pick up the pieces, trying hard to keep my breathing even.

"Would you like some help?"

"No, I got it. You go shower or something."

_Please shower_. I heard him shuffle away and glanced up to see him no longer in the room. I sunk further into the floor, placing one hand against my temple in an attempt to ease the ache. That wasn't right... That wasn't _normal_. I had hoped that it was someone else, some _unknown_, but it wasn't. B was standing there, covered in an immense amount of blood; wide-eyed and smirking like a mad man. Almost like he _enjoyed _what he had just done. I looked down at the shards in my hand. The seen, can not be unseen. And I know that image is going to haunt me _forever_.

"Is it worth it, B?"

I tightly gripped the porcelain pieces in my hand, aware that it was slicing through my skin, but I didn't care at that moment. I was angry and confused. That settled it, I _had _to know. I ran over to B's laptop and turned it on, quickly glancing at the door to make sure he hadn't come back... _No_. I opened his files and glanced through it's documents, opening the ones that looked helpful. There were images of the victims before and after the murders, puzzles that he'd made, etc. I placed my hand over my mouth. This was gruesome. But what about the 3rd victim? There was obviously nothing here since he had only just committed the crime. But what had he done to them to attain so much blood?

"I thought you didn't want to know."

I jumped lightly and looked up to see B; hair wet and wearing clean clothes. I smiled nervously at him.

"Curiosity got the better of me."

"I figured it would; that's why I left those files for you. I knew you'd want to know eventually and would be hesitant to ask me. You always liked working things out for yourself."

"And you've always been slightly cynical and manipulative. I see that you've left messages; it's like you _want _to get caught. Letting them know where you're going to strike next and all."

B smirked and I rose from my place on the sofa and back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up. He followed.

"Quick as always Alessa. But no, I don't plan on being caught."

"More like a '_I'm going to do this, what're you going to do about it_?'"

I saw him nod as I knelt down to finish picking up the broken pieces, B joining me.

"No, I did it so I'll-"

"We can get done quicker this way, and then you can bandage your hand before it gets infected."

I briefly looked down at my wound, then up to B who had picked up the last few pieces of porcelain from the floor before discarding them in the bin. I had to ask.

"What about your 3rd victim? What did you do?"

B's eyes met mine for a brief second before he knelt down in front of me and held my uninjured hand.

"For your peace of mind, I won't tell you about the 3rd victim. I don't want to frighten you."

I nodded briefly; must have been something bad. But then again; with all that blood it was obvious. I'm just glad whoever it was, was unconscious.

"How many more are there going to be, Beyond?"

"Just one, I promise you."

"Why not stop here? You haven't been caught yet, isn't that enough?"

B let go of my hand and stood up, I followed suit.

"No, there has to be this last one. I will beat L once and for all."

"Do you really need to? You're already better than he is in my opinion."

B chuckled lightly before tightly embracing me in a hug which I returned, clenching a fistful of his shirt in my hands.

"You have always been too kind Alessa. But I have to do this. The final chapter is about to start."

He sounded cynical, and I knew he was smirking. Even though I couldn't see it. I nodded lightly, not trusting my own voice. What had L done to make him like this? But I wanted him to be happy, and this last murder would do just that.

"I'm sorry for being nosy Beyond."

"No, I understand. It's human nature to be curious."

I turned my head to face the living room, eyeballing the doll on the table before snuggling closer to B and closing my eyes. I just wanted to enjoy this moment for now. Even though I know it's a mistake to not question this further.


	9. My Best Friend

B had been unusually clingy these past few days. He was always with me when he wasn't doing something I probably didn't want to know about. I heard him laughing earlier, a creepy laugh at that. He seemed to be thinking and muttering a lot to himself as well. I never questioned him though, he always looked pretty mad at those points. I lay with my head in his lap as he played with my hair absent-mindlessly.

"This is nice."

I heard him grumble a response and sat up to face him.

"What's wrong Beyond?"

"I'm committing the final murder today."

He didn't look too happy. Was he having a change of heart?

"Are you sure you want to go through with it?"

He didn't answer me for a moment, he just studied my face. He suddenly gave a soft smile and reached up, pushing some of my hair from my face.

"I'm...sure."

"You don't sound it."

He turned to look at his bag in the corner of the room. Everything he was using for the final murder was in there. I knew that much.

"I should get going. I have a deadline to meet."

He stood up and I quickly grabbed onto this sleeve, forcing him to stop, but he wouldn't look at me. _Why_? Why was this final murder suddenly getting to him so much?

"It's not too late."

"Yes Alessa. It is."

I stood up and gripped his arm, making him look at me. He smiled sadly and grabbed my hand.

"You told me that you had lived your dream when you came here. Promise me that you'll continue to do that for me."

Where was this coming from?

"I promise."

"You're a beautiful girl Alessa. Always be happy."

He lent forward and pressed his lips against my forehead for a second before pulling back and picking up his duffel bag. He shuffled over to the door and opened it; hesitating for a moment and turned to look back at me. I must have looked silly and confused because he chuckled lightly.

"You've always been a great friend Alessa, my best friend in fact. And I thank you for that and all you've done for me. I love you."

With that he left. I pressed my hand to my forehead where he had kissed me. Why were his lips quaking when he did that? I flopped back onto the sofa and flinched as I felt something dig into my back. I quickly reached back and grabbed the source of my pain, looking to see the Wara Ningyo.

"Ouch...Stupid, ugly doll."

I raised my arm to throw it, but decided against it. Instead I lowered it and examined the thing. Why _did _B want these things anyway? I screwed my nose up and glanced at his laptop. I suppose I could try and work out the details whilst I waited for him to return. Then I could put the whole thing behind me and move on with B. Obviously to a different country, after all this. I walked over to the laptop and switched it on, throwing the doll on the opposite sofa.

"No offence, but you creep me out."

I turned back to the laptop and opened all of B's files on his murders. Information on the 3rd victim was now up. I felt bile rise in my throat. This was horrible! I looked at the name of the victim; Backyard Bottomslash. What had driven B to _remove limbs _from this person? I pressed my wrist to my mouth and shook my head. _No_. I had seen images like this all the time back at Wammy's...but knowing that _B _did it... How could someone who was so kind to me, do something like this? Was he really _that _crazy in the outside world? Was it just me he was kind to? No, I find that hard to believe... but it's _right here_! I'm fucking _looking _at it!

"No, I need to work this thing out."

I wanted to do this, and God damn I was going to. I looked through each and every picture, report and puzzle carefully; my nose screwed up as I thought long and hard. I wanted to know who this last victim was. Why B was reacting the way he did. I soon found my answer.

"The locked rooms... to make it look like a suicide even though we know it's murder...this isn't the case...B's going to kill _himself_! The ultimate crime, he can't be put in prison!"

I shot off of the sofa and out the door, I had already worked out where the murder was taking place. I swiftly jumped into my car and headed for the hotel downtown at top speed, I'm actually surprised I hadn't been pulled over. I skidded to a halt outside the front of the hotel and ran as fast as my legs would carry me up to the room I knew B was located. I could hear _screaming_... my heart thundered in my chest... my breathing increased at a dangerous rate.

"Beyond!"

I tore towards the room, seeing a woman I had never seen before kick open the door and charge in. The open door only echoed B's screams of pain, forcing me to move faster then I thought possible. I skidded to a halt outside the door; my breath hitched and tears fell down my face at an inhuman rate. B was on the floor writhing in pain, _on fire_. I could feel the heat from here, smell his burning flesh... The woman used a fire extinguisher to quickly disperse the flames that coated my friend, and all fell silent. All that was heard was our raged breathing.

"B-Beyond?"

I stepped into the room and the charred lump of flesh known as Beyond tilted his head to face me from his awkward position on the floor. I placed both my hands over my mouth upon seeing him clearer. _I wish I hadn't_. He looked horrible. Everything was burnt red-black, his skin cracked and marred from the flames. His hair was badly singed an he smelt- _I'm going to be sick_... I turned away, no longer capable of looking at him like this. The woman placed a hand on my shoulder in sympathy before walking over to Beyond.

"Rue Ryuzaki, I arrest you under suspicion of murder."


	10. My New Toy

I stared at the scarred man before me, his image glossy from behind the glass. I picked up the phone and he mimicked my movement.

"Hey there B."

"This is the 5th time you've visited me this week."

"Of course. I can't get by without my daily dose of Beyond."

He laughed dryly and shook his head.

"The guards are going to think you're crazy."

"Says the man in the orange jumpsuit."

We both laughed;

"How is the outside world? Still rotten?"

I screwed my nose up, I didn't want to tell him the truth.

"Yeah, hellish as always. But everyone is getting by."

"I see... You don't have to lie to me Alessa. I already know about Kira, and that he's killing criminals."

I bit my lip, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Is that why you come to see me more often? To make sure I'm still alive?"

I didn't trust my voice, my windpipe feeling tight. So I settled for a nod. B noticed and placed his hand on the glass, I placed my smaller one where his was resting.

"You're a good friend Alessa. I love you."

"I love you too."

He smiled gently at me until shock crossed his face. What was wrong?

"_Ack_!"

B clutched his chest tightly, falling onto the table in front of him, hyperventilating. I heard cries of the other prisoners around me, but my attention was focused on the raven haired man in front of me.

"_B_?! Beyond! ... _Guards_! Help, something's wrong!"

I lent against the glass, my breathing almost as heavy as B's. He looked up at me with half-lidded eyes before they closed..._he stopped moving_...

"_B_? ...B wake up... Beyond open your eyes _right now_!"

I screamed; tears flowing freely from my eyes as I pounded on the glass in front of me. Hoping to reach him, but knowing it was futile.

"Beyond, please wake up! Wake up you bastard, _this isn't funny_!"

"Get her out of here!"

I felt someone grab me from behind, dragging me away from Beyond.

"No, let me go! You have to help him! Beyond! _Please_!"

I was removed from the room and seated in a room with a police officer until I had calmed down. He told me what had happened, but I already knew. I wasn't even listening to him, it was all just white noise. I slowly made my way down the empty streets towards my home, I felt numb, _cold_.

"This is all _L's _fault..."

I stopped in my tracks, my fists clenched. This _was _L's fault. _He _drove B to insanity, _he _sent Misora after B, _he _put B in prison, _he _made B's arrest public. _It's his fault_!

"Dammit L! You say you're justice but you're not!"

I flinched as I felt a thump on my head. What was that? I looked down and saw a book lying at my feet. Glancing up, I don't know where it could have come from. I picked it up and read the cover.

"Death Note?"

"Ah, I'm glad. I was worried that I would have dropped it in the wrong place."

I stood up, realizing this was the owner and was about to give him a piece of my mind for purposely throwing it at me. I turned and froze. _What the hell was that thing?!_

"W-what?!"

I rubbed my eyes, this _wasn't _real. I was just distraught from B's death. A _hallucination_. I looked back up and blinked a few times..._it was still there_. A huge being. It was thin enough to see it's bones, and had a pale, almost grey skin color. It's head lolled unhealthily to the side with wide emerald snake like irises. It had no lips, but 2 sets of long razor like teeth extending up to it's cheek bones. It's thin hair was shoulder length and black, and it wore dark; ragged clothing. I gulped heavily as it's snake tongue extended and rattled for a second before disappearing back into it's mouth, its serpentine tail shifting lightly.

"Don't be afraid Alessa. I am the Shinigami, Hebi. And I am here to help you."

It's voice was deep and vibrating. _Shinigami_? I'm supposed to believe that? But here it is..._right in front of me_. I clutched the book closer to my chest.

"This...is your book?"

The being nodded and I carefully held out a shaky hand with the book, offering it. I quickly retracted it and jumped upon hearing the being laugh heartily; throwing it's head back.

"No, I don't want that. It's for you. I purposely dropped it so you would find it."

"W-why? What _is it?"_

He pointed to the cover;

"Exactly as it says. It's a Death Note. You write someone's name in it, and they die. It's as simple as that."

"What? I don't want to _kill _anyone!"

I dropped the book like a hot rock and took a step back from it like it was diseased.

"You _don't_?"

"**No**!"

I turned to walk away but it's laugh stopped me in my tracks.

"Not even, _L_?"

_L_... My fists clenched as I turned around to face the being once more.

"How did you know that?"

"I have been watching you for a very long time Alessa. And I know everything that's happened to you these past few years, so I wanted you to have my Death Note."

"What do you get out of this?"

Hebi's eyes seemed to soften slightly as he shifted slightly, and unhealthy crack following.

"Just the satisfaction of seeing you smile. I want you to be happy."

I knelt down to pick up the book, not taking my eyes off this beings lizard like irises.

"I can kill L with this?"

Hebi nodded and I smiled. _I could do it_. I could get revenge for B.

"Then kill L I shall... Thank you, Hebi!"

He nodded and laughed at my response as I looked at the book with eyes full of glee. I could do this... I could end L, just like _he _ended B.


	11. My Simple Life

**DISCLAIMER: I was going to end the story on the last chapter since no one reviewed, but thanks to lavender spring I have decided to continue on since she seems to enjoy it. :) So thank you lavender spring for the encouragement and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story as well as all you other readers out there.**

I sat in my living room, glancing idly through the newspaper with a coffee in the other hand. It seems this Kira is striking everywhere at once. No a single country is untouched. A little frightening I must admit. But I can't help but wonder-

"Are you going to finish that?"

I looked up at my Shinigami, Hebi. He was pointing at the table where my half eaten peach was. I don't really like them myself, but couldn't be bothered with much for breakfast. I seemed to be buying them all the time; once noticed that Hebi thoroughly enjoyed peaches.

"Don't tell me you've already gone through that _whole _bag. I only bought it yesterday."

He looked away from my gaze and I couldn't help but giggle. It had been hard getting used to Hebi at first. When I woke up and saw him for the first few days it constantly frightened me. I suppose I was trying to convince myself that it was all a dream, but I know now that he _really is _here. And he has become an important part of my life; a good friend. I picked up the peach and threw it to him.

"Knock yourself out. I didn't really want it anyway."

"You must be crazy, not enjoying peaches."

He stuffed the whole thing into his mouth and I smiled, things had been really odd with him around. I had recently found out that only I could see him, unless anyone else touched the Death Note. Luckily no one had seen me _talking to myself_. So I won't get thrown in a mental hospital. I reached over and turned on the TV, the news should be starting soon and I liked to keep up to date... Odd, it was already on.

_"I am Lind L. Taylor, otherwise known as L. Criminals around the world are being murdered by a serial killer. I consider this crime to be the most atrocious act of murder in history. I will not rest until the person or persons responsible are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down. I will find you! Kira, I've got a pretty good idea what your motivation might be, and I can guess what you hope to achieve, however, what you're doing right now is evil."_

I jumped upon hearing this. _L_? No that can't be right! I started at the raven haired man on the screen, gently placing my coffee on the table as I lent forward. I knew L would take on the Kira case, I knew it was only a matter of time. But...

"This doesn't add up."

"What doesn't?"

I turned to face Hebi and screwed my nose up lightly.

"L has never shown his face in public before. No one knows his real name either. He's a very secretive man, and very hard to locate. No, downright impossible to locate."

"Is that why you haven't gone after him yet? But he's right there."

He pointed to the screen and I followed it; staring at the man once more.

"Yes, I knew he was going to take on the Kira case. The temptation would be too great for him. So all I had to do was wait for him to make his presence known. But I never expected this... _No_, this is too easy. L wouldn't just come out like this to the killer without all the information. It's not his style. _That man isn't L_."

No sooner had I finished my sentence Lind gripped his chest, distraught and pain covering his face.

"It appears that this Kira person doesn't like being called out. _How childish_..."

I continued to stare at the TV as a gothic _L _covered the screen, a synthesized voice blaring through the speakers. _This was his mark_. He sounded shocked to say the least, then again I was shocked to have witnessed that as well. _Kira didn't even have to be there_. I focused on what L was saying;

"Now I'll give you some information in return. Although it was televised that this was being broadcast globally... actually, it was only broadcast in the Kanto region around Tokyo. The plan was to broadcast live to other areas in turn but that is no longer necessary. You are in the Kanto region of Japan, Kira."

A wide grin spread across my features and I couldn't help chuckling. Hebi noticed and turned to face me.

"So, we're going to Japan?"

"Yes Hebi. It looks like I didn't have to do any work at all. L came to me without realizing it. I know L will go to Japan to find Kira, he will most likely be in touch with the Japanese police to be his eyes and arms as well. So I have to join too, Hebi."


	12. My First Move

I stood in front of the police force building; wearing black dress trousers and a white blouse. Until I could meet L in person I had to fit the part to stay on the team. I took a deep breath and headed inside the building and to reception. The woman behind the desk smiled at me.

"Hello, can I help you?"

"Yes, I am Agent Annabel Birthday. It's my first day and I'm looking for the room where the Kira case is taking place."

"Ah yes, Miss Birthday, we were expecting you."

I handed over my ID to prove who I was as the woman examined it. An alias of course. But I had paperwork made just in case anybody looks into my identity. It just seemed fitting. Annabel; A. And Birthday; my best friend. I know L will figure this out; I made it obvious for no one else but him. He knew who B and I were. And he won't be able to ignore my existence, not when he thought I was dead. He will confront me. Be it either in person or cyber, I _will _catch him out.

"Down the hall and to the left."

I took my ID from the woman and pocketed it before heading down to where the Kira investigation was being held. Surprisingly I saw quite a few people, didn't know this many people wanted Kira caught. A middle aged man approached me upon my entering.

"You must be Miss Birthday. I am Soichiro Yagami, head of police. We spoke on the phone."

He held his hand out for me to shake and I took it, smiling.

"Yes, it's good to finally meet you Mr. Yagami. Thank you for accepting me on this case."

"Well you did put up a convincing argument."

I laughed lightly and followed him to a seat next to a young man with black hair and kind brown eyes. He stood up an bowed lowly; I never knew how respectful the Japanese were.

"Hello Miss Birthday. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. My name is Matsuda."

I bowed back to him before we took our seats as a man all dressed in black entered the room and set up a laptop. The screen flashed for a moment before the trademark L appeared on the screen. He was here, so that man was obviously Watari. I clenched my jaw to hold my temper. _Those bastards_... The investigation begun; reports given about people who claimed to be Kira, the murders and the times of death, etc.

"That information is very valuable. It indicates that our suspect is a _student_."

Makes sense. Killing on weekends, holidays and the regular after school hours. Soichiro cleared his throat.

"Would anybody else like to add anything?"

Matsuda raised his hand and I looked at him from the corner of my eye.

"Uh yes... I'm not saying this to support Kira but-"

He got cut off as I gripped the sleeve of his shirt and shook my head. This was not the time or place to say things that might support Kira; Matsuda. This was an investigation to _catch _him, not _condole _him.

"Uhm, never mind."

I let him go as he sat back down and scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Another time and place Matsuda."

He nodded briefly as I looked back to the front; hearing L speak once more.

"Young lady, may I ask you to state who you are? I don't recall seeing you here before."

I rose to my feet, so he _had _noticed me. I put on my best fake smile and laughed nervously.

"Well, for safety precautions against Kira I will only state my sir name."

"Of course. Do continue."

"Birthday, Agent Birthday."

L went silent for a moment, and I thought for a second that he wasn't going to reply.

"I see. Well, thank you Miss Birthday for preventing Mr Matsuda saying something he would probably regret. If there is nothing else then I would like to request that all the information we've gone through today be looked over once more. Make it a thorough search, we don't want to miss anything."

Everybody agreed and took their leave. I sat back and waited a moment. Watari had already left, so I knew he wasn't going to take any action. Not this soon anyway. L would probably look into my _information _first. But from his delayed reaction, I knew he remembered me. I may have never seen him before; but with those webcams I'm more then aware that he has seen me through his _visits_.

"Uhm, Miss Birthday?"

I turned my head to look a Matsuda, he was scratching the back of his neck and looked quite sullen.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. For earlier and all."

I couldn't help but smile. I was the new girl and he didn't want to make a bad impression of himself with me; thinking he supported Kira.

"No, I understand. Crime rates have gone down drastically since Kira's arrival; so I can sympathize with your feelings. But don't forget he _is _a killer. He has to be brought down at all costs."

"Yes!"

And Kira _will _be caught. I just have to play my part. With the way the task force is reacting towards L, it won't take long until they get agitated with them being the only ones putting their necks out. L will be forced to make a move; and show his face. Even I know that the great L can't do this alone. And I'll be waiting. We _will _catch Kira, and then I'll kill them _both _with my Death Note.


	13. My Perfect Copy

It had been a few days since I had been working on the Kira case with the other police officers. So much has happened. Firstly; Kira had been deemed capable of changing how a person dies, other then just via heart attack. 3 men left the team, and then when 12 FBI agents died, most of the force left. There were only 8 of us left. Yagami, Matsuda, Aizawa, Mogi, Ide, Ukita, myself... and _L_. Soichiro looked around the room at us all.

"I'm glad to see that there are still this many of us left."

"The fact that you stayed means that you have a strong sense of justice. I trust all of you."

I gave a small glance at the laptop where L's synthesized voice came from. I already knew that he'd been looking into everybody's background. The whole force did. I lent forward in my seat lightly at Soichiro's next words.

"L, you say that you trust us. But you do understand that that we'll have to meet in person."

"The thought had already crossed my mind..."

And_ just like that_; he arranged a meeting place for all of us. I smiled to myself lightly;_ I knew it_. I knew he'd be forced to come out of hiding eventually. I will meet him and find out his real name. But I won't kill him, not until Kira's been captured. That much I know I _can't _do on my own. I threw my bag over my shoulder and headed for the car with Matsuda. We had to go in pairs; 30 minutes apart. I decided to go with Matsuda; I liked him.

"So Miss Birthday, What made you stay on the team?"

I glanced at him and smiled;

"Why did you?"

"Uhm, well... I don't know really. I guess I just want Kira to be caught, no matter what."

"Me too."

I carried on walking all the while thinking that _I also had nothing left to live for_. I had no family, no loved ones, no friends... just this final mission. We pulled up to a hotel and entered it, walking up to the room that L was supposed to be in. I was nervous, albeit excited. Everyone was there, waiting for us; the last ones to arrive. Soichiro did a count.

"So is everyone ready?"

We all nodded as he knocked on the door. A faint _come in _could be heard as we entered. I held back behind the others; wanting to be the last one in. I didn't want to be noticed right away by L. His focus must be on Kira; not a girl who was supposed to be dead. I heard him speak;

"I am L."

His voice sounded quite lazy, _bored _even. Where have I heard that tone before?

"T-this guy is L?"

"No way..."

Soichiro took out his badge, the others following suit as they introduced themselves. I screwed up my nose lightly; were these people _idiots_? I hadn't even looked at the fellow yet and even I knew not to give out information like that so easily. L has _never _shown his face before! How can they be so sure that-

"Bang!"

"Huh?"

"If I were Kira you'd all be dead right now... except for the young lady hiding behind you. Nice work, Miss _Birthday_."

I couldn't help but smirk. He knew, _wonderful_.

"Well you either _are _L for knowing that or he has informed you well. Only he and the task force know of me."

"Will you step forward please?"

I froze lightly; did I really want to? If he _was _L then...no, I should. I need to know his face if I'm going to kill him with my Death Note. With a hard gulp I walked past the task force, my gaze downcast. _I have to look at him!_

"Interesting... You have been trained well, Miss Birthday. I could have been a fake and you had thought that far ahead. But I assure you that I am the real L. Please; state your name."

It was now or never, I can't turn back now. I had to look at him; I had to see his face. My eyes slowly travelled up the mans frame, freezing upon seeing his features...he looked- _no_, he asked me a question. I had to answer it.

"Annabel Birthday."

The tall, lanky man placed his thumb to his lip and my fists clenched slightly, but refused to give any emotion. He knew I took the name; but by the look on his face he didn't exactly know _who I was_ just yet. So, he _didn't _remember me... but things _have _changed since I was a mere 6 year old girl. And B was the only one to have ever met him in person...Maybe that's why-

"Hmm, I see... Very well. All of you please turn off your phones and leave them on the table."

He turned and walked off and I let out a long breath that I didn't know I was holding. L was looking for a reaction from me. He wanted me to see him, to see how I'd react. A and B were best friends; that much he knew; but he also knew that A killed herself. That's why he targeted me just then... because L and B look _exactly _alike, save from their eyes... But whatever it is you're trying to figure out L; _you won't_. I wasn't your successor for nothing...


	14. My Game

I laid on the floor, everything spread out, bones giving satisfying cracks... I got stares, but I didn't care. Since I had been here I had already lost that uncomfortable formal attire and returned to my jeans, band shirt and converse. It's hard to think when you're itching like _crazy_.

"Uhm... Miss Birthday? What are you doing?"

I turned my head to face Aizawa with a small smile.

"I'm sorry if this is creeping you out; but I've been sat at that computer for _far _too long and everything's gone stiff. So I'm just stretching myself out for a bit."

"No it's...fine."

My smile increased as I looked back up at the ceiling. L's phone ringing.

"Hello...yes...Raye Penber's fiance?... Naomi Misora... So it's _her_. She worked with me on the BB murder case."

I lay unmoving, but I could feel L's stare. _Nice try L, _but you're getting no reaction. No matter how much my insides are tearing me up. He hung up the phone and I lifted my head at an unhealthy angle, looking at the detective. He met my gaze.

"It seems that another FBI agent has died."

I rolled onto my front, looking at him right side up now.

"Ryuzaki? You said you worked with her?"

I held back the bite in my tone at using his alias Ryuzaki. That was _B's_ alias. Not _his _to take.

"Is it important?"

He seemed to stare at me intently;

"No, I just thought we were the lucky ones to have only seen you face to face."

I giggled lightly for emphasis and he smiled lightly in response.

"You are, Naomi worked under me. She was my eyes and arms. We had never met face to face."

_Liar_... B met you. And look what you did to him. I forced myself to stand up, my knees cracking on the way.

"I see. We really are lucky then. But if I may; can I go to my room and shower? I haven't had one in a few days and I'm starting to smell myself. _It's disturbing_."

He nodded and I took my leave to my room; heading straight into the bathroom.

"Hey Hebi?"

My Shinigami appeared as I took a seat on the side of the bath tub; running the hot water. I was safe to talk to him here, it was the only place without cameras and wire taps. I suppose even L respected _some _privacy.

"What is it, dear?"

"I was just wondering about the rules of the Death Note."

"Why don't you read them?"

I screwed my nose up;_ I couldn't_.

"I left the book in a secret compartment I carved into my bag. I can't leave this place and L is always watching. So I daren't risk getting it out. But I haven't really looked at the book since you gave it to me. I know whoever's name is written in the book will die...but _how_?"

"Ah, you want to know if Kira is also using a Death Note?"

I nodded and looked up at the serpentine creature; he seemed to smile.

"Yes, Kira is using a Death Note."

"I thought as much. Why else would he need a name and a face to kill? So he can specify how they die too?"

Hebi nodded and I screwed my nose up. This Death Note truly _was _a mystery. I made the mistake in not looking through it when I first got it. But at least I know Hebi will always provide me with information. I smiled up at the God Of Death.

"Thanks Hebi, I can always count on you."

"I will do anything to make you happy, Alessa."

"You know what? When I can get out of this stuffy old place the first thing I'm going to do is take you for some peaches."

Hebi's eyes lit up and he bounced a little on the balls of his feet.

"You are too kind to me."

I smiled and shoo'd him off so I could take my bath in peace. My plan was working so far. L was on edge because of the Kira case and having to show his face in public. Also I turned up with the alias _Birthday_. So that made matters worse for him. I know he's been inspecting me closely, just as expected. But now to earn his trust. Make him feel the fool. I finished up my bath and got dressed before heading straight back into the investigation room, arms stretched wide.

"Man do I feel _better_! Thanks Ryuzaki."

He turned to look at me, and stared for a moment as I made my way over to him; picking up one of the many cakes littered around for everyone to enjoy.

"Birthday Massacre?"

I blinked at him _**confused **_before glancing down at my shirt; fingering the hem at the bottom.

"Yeah!"

"And they are a band?"

I looked at him _**gobsmacked**_;

"You've _never _heard of the Birthday Massacre? You really haven't lived have you? They're only the _best band on this planet_. I always go to their gigs whenever I get the chance and own all of their albums."

L placed his thumb to his lip for a moment before meeting my gaze again.

"I see. You're obviously a big fan."

"Only the biggest!"

I giggled before taking my cake back to my work station to test the cameras Watari had set up in the task forces homes, a small smile playing on my face.


	15. My Suspect

I feel like a stalker...No, this _is _stalking... I had been watching this guy over night now with Aizawa and he hasn't done anything suspicious.

"Don't you feel like this is a little wrong Miss Birthday?"

I glanced up at him through a mouthful of cheese string before nodding in response.

"I don't see why we have to suspect these people."

I swallowed my food;

"There must be a reason if L is suspecting them. Don't forget he has solved thousands of cases, and never been wrong. So no matter how off things may seem it has to be done."

"I suppose but-"

"Miss Birthday?"

I lent back in my chair to look at the detective in the other room, his eyes fixated on the screen in front of him. I huffed, realizing I had to go to him.

"I won't be long."

I walked into the living room as the monitors were turned off and he turned to look at me.

"I am going to be attending To-oh university tomorrow. I would like it if you joined me in taking the entrance exams and being an extra pair of eyes."

Go to university with him? I've never _been _to university... after I left Wammy's I hid out in L.A. and got a job immediately at that bakery. But if Kira might be there, then...

"Who is the suspect?"

"Light Yagami."

The task force shot up from their seats and started scrutinizing L. I'm not really surprised; it _is _Chief Yagami's son after all. I managed to cut through all the yelling.

"I'll go."

**xXxXxXx**

That test was easy. It felt wrong to put down wrong answers on purpose. But I had to keep in character; _Annabel Birthday _was an just above average police woman. It made me feel _stupid_...

"So Miss Birthday, how did you find the test?"

I turned to look at L as he took a seat next to me. The ceremony was about to start and I hadn't seen L since the exam. He seemed to have a light air about him for some reason. I giggled and scratched the back of my head.

"It's been a while since I went to college; or taken a test at that level. But I found it quite hard to be honest. I think I managed to pass though."

He nodded and looked ahead, I followed his gaze. He was looking at a boy who was walking towards us. Well groomed, quite handsome. I figured that he was Light;_ L's suspect_. I hadn't seen Light until now, he didn't really look much like a killer. I glanced over my shoulder at Hebi and nodded silently which he returned. He then took his leave. If this guy really _was _Kira then I can't have his Shinigami leaking information about me possibly having a Death Note. Light took a seat next to L and the ceremony started, those 2 giving their speeches. I couldn't help but smile at some of the comments people made about L. He _was _rather strange,_ just like B was_. The boys returned after a minor conversation to their seats.

"Nice speech Ryuga."

I used his alias and he didn't respond to me. Probably thinking hard about something. _What had he said to Light_?

"Light, I have some information that might be useful to you. But you have to keep it a secret."

"I won't tell. What is it?"

"I just wanted to tell you that _I'm L_."

He whispered the last part but I caught it. It took a lot to suppress my shock, I can't let Light see my reaction. _What on Earth is L thinking_?! I didn't really hear the rest of their conversation; I was too busy trying to put myself in L's none existent shoes and think why he had done this. He knows Kira needs a name and a face to kill. So maybe if he tried to kill Hideki Ryuga then the pop singer would die instead? Then... Does he know about the Death Note? No... that's illogical thinking. He must be testing how accurate Kira can kill with a name and face. And if he does kill Hideki Ryuga and the star dies in L's place, then that would confirm that Light is indeed Kira... But for a guy who got the best scores out of the school, I don't think he'd be _that _daft. We soon left the building as L bid goodbye to Light. I didn't bother, I hadn't spoken to the guy. Once in the car I clipped L around the ear. He looked at me shocked.

"Why did you tell him you were L? That was a _stupid _move!"

"The reason I did it-"

"I know why you did it, but that was still _too risky_! He knows your face now and will track you down."

A soft smile came over L's face for a brief moment; _mocking me_.

"I didn't know you cared so much Miss Birthday."

I was taken aback by this...why _did _I care? No, I didn't. I suppose I just want L to die by _my _hands.


	16. My Headache

_A second Kira_... Where are these people popping up from?! First Chief Yagami got put in hospital, then this second Kira appears and kills Ukita... And now I'm sat watching Light go over some video tapes. The very man that is suspected of being _Kira_. This is a stupid move on L's part in my opinion. He's never shown his face before, thus not very good in social situations. He _has _to be making this up as he goes along. I watched as Light and L had a brief conversation; not really caring at the moment. Some video tapes had been sent to Sakura TV, and we were waiting for a reply from the second Kira. I didn't feel like watching TV though. I needed some aspirin... Keeping my secret as well as trying to outsmart L and now Light..._it was thrashing my brain_.

"Hey, he's replied!"

We all turned our attention to the TV and listened intently. My thoughts..._This Kira isn't very bright_... L lay on the floor in shock, whilst I sat with my head in the palm of my hand.

"S-Shinigami? Am I... supposed to believe that?"

"No, the thought of Shinigami existing is absurd."

I don't know how L reacted to my words, my face hiding in my hand and all as my finger tips rubbed my temple. I vaguely listened to the rest of the broadcast; my head was _thumping_...

"Miss Birthday."

I lazily looked up to meet wide owlish eyes.

"You seem a little unwell."

"No, I just have a minor headache. It's no problem."

"Please, go take a break."

I wasn't about to argue with _that_. A bath would be nice after all. I got up and left without another word to my room and started running my bath.

"Hebi?"

My Shinigami appeared and touched my forehead.

"You're burning up, Alessa."

"Forget about that; I just have a headache. I want to know about something. What did the second Kira mean by;_ I have the eyes_?"

"Ah, he's talking about the Shinigami eyes."

"Shinigami eyes?"

"Yes, in exchange for half of ones life they can have the Shinigami eyes. Enabling them to see a persons name and lifespan. Although, you can not see the lifespan of those who own a Death Note."

I gasped; placing my hand on my chest..._I remembered something._

"What's wrong Alessa?"

_**He pressed a finger to my lips, I could smell the jam and feel it's stickiness against my skin.**_

_**"Promise not to tell anyone?"**_

_**I nodded lightly; I had to know.**_

_**"I can see people's names and lifespans. So even if I didn't kill her, something else would have."**_

_**I blinked confused. Was I supposed to believe this? Had he just gone overboard insane?**_

_**"You look skeptical; Alessa Newcastle."**_

"My friend; he had the Shinigami eyes. But if he had a Death Note then why didn't he kill his victims that way?"

"You're talking about that Beyond Birthday boy you were always hanging around with?"

I nodded and looked up to Hebi;

"He did _not _have a Death Note. He was simply born with those eyes."

I screwed my nose up; my headache getting worse. B was _born _with Shinigami eyes? Was that even possible? The again; Gods Of Death, magic killer notebooks... I _can _believe it. I bit my lip; Always knowing when someone was going to die... No wonder he seemed unstable and closed off since the first day we met...

"Alessa...I trust you to use your brain to find out L's name by yourself. I would hate to take away half your life. And regretfully; it is forbidden for me to give you his name."

"No, it's ok Hebi, it's only 2 people I'm after. I'll just have to keep my guard up. By the way; did you notice if Light had a Shinigami at the exams before you left?"

"He did."

I screwed my nose up; that proved it. _Light was Kira_. But such an innocent looking man... It was _almost _hard to believe. Now, without giving away information of the Death Note; I had to prove Light was guilty. I had to have L's name...And I refuse to work beside Kira.

"So, what are you going to do? Are you going to kill Light?"

"No, not yet. This second Kira wants a meeting with him. And who knows what will happen if he doesn't get it. We need to know who the second one is, but I just might have to kill him, I own a Death Note after all; and he has the eyes. I can't risk this idiot blowing my cover. Once captured I can kill him and we could just assume the first Kira did it, in order to hide his identity."

Hebi laughed a cynical laugh.

"It's scary how smart you are, Alessa. You're becoming quite the sadist. I'm sure Beyond would be proud of you."

I looked down,_ would B be proud of me_? He always wanted me to carry on life as normal, but here I am; seeking revenge. Just like he did when he thought I died. I truly have lived up to the alias _Birthday_. Just these 3; and then I will live how B wanted me to. I rubbed my temples... I _really _needed that aspirin...


	17. My Error

This was wrong..._sick _even...

"What is the meaning of this L?"

"If Miss Amane is in fact the second Kira then we have to be certain that she is."

I stared at the woman behind the glass. I had wanted the second Kira to be captured, but this? _This is illegal_...

"Did you have to go so far as this?"

"Miss Birthday, I assure you that I know what I'm doing."

I screwed my nose lightly; why was I so concerned about this? If she is the second Kira then I'm just going to kill her anyway... but if she turns out to be _innocent_... I turned to the monitor where Light sat in his cell. He had suggested to be locked up. I know that Hebi will tell me if this girl is the second Kira; and if she is then I need to come up with a new plan. With Light locked up then pinning the blame on the original Kira would fail; since I already know it's him. And L seems to have a strong hunch also. I don't want to be categorized as a third Kira...

"Out of things to say, Miss Birthday?"

I looked at the lazy detective through narrowed eyes. He was so _arrogant_! Always so sure of himself! He may have always been right, but he _will _slip up; and I'll be there to see it.

"I suppose. I just don't feel that this is right. But I know I'm not going to be able to talk you out of it."

"You're right. I won't change my mind."

He took a mouthful of ice-cream and I folded my arms, what a _jerk_.

"Also, Miss Birthday; I have something for you."

I blinked confused as he reached over the side of the chair and pulled out what looked like a CD case between his index finger and thumb.

"I had the privilege of asking Watari to buy this for you."

He held it out to me and I took it. _Looking Glass_. This was the Birthday Massacre's new album.

"It has just come out so I figured you wouldn't have it. Why so surprised? Didn't you know there was a new album coming out?"

I closed my mouth and looked at the detectives intense gaze. _Damn_! He was trying to catch me out!

"No, I just never expected _you _to buy something for me. I'm really grateful L. Thank you."

I smiled at him and he nodded before turning back to his monitors. I gripped the album tightly in my hand. So, he still didn't fully believe me. I was hoping that he would suspect me of knowing Beyond, but trust me after he realized that I was merely a Birthday massacre fan. To repent for investigating me so thoroughly, he would loosen up up a little more... he really _is _the worlds best detective...

"One more thing Miss Birthday."

I met his gaze once more.

"Why are you the only one who didn't use an alias? Birthday _is _your sir name correct?"

_Dammit_! Why hadn't I thought of that?! I had been so busy thinking over all the major details I didn't think about an alias since _Birthday _is _already _an alias! No, keep calm...

"My last name is quite unusual, I don't think anyone else on the planet has the last name Birthday. Plus it could be thought of as an alias anyway, considering my obsession with the band Birthday Massacre. I've also never given out my first name since arriving here either. Other then to you."

I knew he had already gone over that theory, I was hoping for it. But by telling him this, then just maybe...

"I see... That will be all."

"Hey Ryuzaki, why do you keep bothering Miss Birthday like that?! She hasn't done anything! At first I just thought you were curious but now I'm sure you're up to something!"

I turned to look at Aizawa; the man's quick.

"I just like to be certain."

"But you-"

"Aizawa, it's alright. L is a cautious man. You can't blame him for wanting to make sure everything he knows is solid."

Aizawa looked at me, which I returned with a smile. If he only knew... L had a _right _to be worried.


	18. My Ass!

"Hebi?"

The Shinigami appeared as I played with the bubbles in my bath. _Something wasn't right_. These past few days there have been drastic changes in Misa's and Light's behavior. Hebi had been hanging around the investigation room as well, which was _odd_... He seemed to know what I was going to ask;

"They no longer own the Death Note's. So I have been keeping close to you, their Shinigami have gone. Nor do they remember ever owning the Death Note."

I looked up at the Death God;

"So if you give up the Death Note you forget ever having it? Why would they do that? It seems odd... Plus criminals are still dying... Could there be another Kira out there other then those 2? But, you can say when a person is going to die. And it _was _Light's idea to be imprisoned... Do you think that he arranged these people to die while he was locked up?"

"I'm afraid I don't have an answer for you Alessa. I'm sorry. I have never seen anybody use the Death Note like those two have."

I screwed my nose up and looked at the white bubbles popping away in the tub. _What was Light up to_? I have no idea what's happening! Could he just not want to be Kira anymore? Has the guilt gotten to him so he's passed Kira onto someone else's shoulders? _Maybe_...

**Knock, knock... **

I jumped lightly and looked at the bathroom door.

"Yes? I'm busy."

"Miss Birthday; I would like a word with you. Once you've finished up would you please come into your bedroom?"

My head fell back against the tub; L. Was no where _sacred_?!

"I have to go in there to leave the bathroom anyway."

He didn't reply to my sarcastic comment which just caused me to groan and get out of the tub. I quickly got dressed before walking into my bedroom, seeing L perched on one of the chairs, the Birthday Massacre CD he bought me in-between his fingers. I couldn't help but let a small twinge of a smile creep up my face. I know he was merely trying to catch me out by buying that CD; but it was still nice.

"You haven't listened to it yet. The wrappers still on it."

"I haven't really had the time."

"So much for a _big _fan."

My smile fell; forget what I said. He _wasn't _nice, just a _jerk_.

"What do you want L? Shouldn't you be watching Light and Misa?"

I sat down across from him as he put the CD down and rested his hands on his knees.

"They are no longer in containment. Mr Yagami had taken them to their execution, to test if they really were Kira. They _aren't_, and are on their way back here now. But your break seemed to last _unusually _long, you wouldn't know that."

I screwed my nose up, I didn't even _want _to know that. I sighed; I had been away from the investigation room for a long time today. I suppose I just couldn't be bothered.

"You seem a little distracted lately. I was just wanting to make sure that you're alright."

I blinked at B's double. _He was worried about me_? I couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks for your concern, but I'm alright. I guess the case is just getting me down a bit. All our leads pointed to Light and Misa and now we're back to square one."

I sighed and sat back in my seat; it was really because this man is so damn _confusing_. He may look just like B, but their personalities were just so..._opposite_. And his determination to catch Kira was no doubt admirable. He didn't know what I did; but yet he still tried no matter what. _B gave up_. A hard truth, but a truth none the less. He gave up wanting to be L, he have up on life. Something I never wanted to believe.

"Don't worry Miss Birthday; Kira will be brought to justice."

He gave me a small smile and I couldn't help but return it. He was stubborn, I'll give him that much.

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Negative thoughts, but we all have them. So are you _sure _that it's only the Kira case that's gotten you this worked up?"

I snapped my eyes up to meet his, he still had that smile on his face. He's trying to trap me, that _tool_! I can't believe I thought he was trying to be _nice_!

"No L, I'm fine."

"Just as long as you're sure. We should get back to work. Mr Yagami should be back any time now."

He got up and shuffled away, I followed behind him.

**xXxXx**

"So...you're going to be stuck together..._all the time_?"

L nodded his head, adjusting the cuff on his left wrist. I felt my eyebrow twitch; was I the only one finding this _creepy_? Misa got in L's face.

"So does this mean you're on that side of the fence Ryuzaki?"

I bit my lip, a soft snigger escaping and catching L's attention. He stared at me through cool eyes as I tried to keep a straight face, but my shoulders jutting gave away that I found this _hilarious_. He sighed and turned back to Misa.

"I'm not doing this because I want to. I need to keep an eye on you both, and this is the only way."

"If that's the case then why aren't you tied to Misa too?"

I was hard to hide the laugh in my voice; opening the wound that Misa made even more. L looked back at me once again, a soft smirk on his face.

"I had already thought of that."

He held up another set of handcuffs, his eyes not leaving mine; his smirk widening. I felt mine drop.

"That's why you are going to be tied to Miss Amane."

"Aw, _**hellz no**_!"


	19. My Burst Blood Vessel

"Man, this has to be the lamest date I've ever been on..."

"I concur..."

Misa glanced at me from the corner of her eye as I sat screwed up in a ball on the sofa beside her. My head in the palm of my hand, massaging my temple.

"Please, just pretend that Miss Birthday and I aren't even here."

"That's hard to do since we _are _here, Ryuzaki."

I glared at the detective from over my palm as he shoveled cake into his mouth, not even giving me a glance.

"Never the less we have to be here."

My head fell back against the cushion in annoyance as Light turned to L.

"What's wrong with you two? Neither of you seem motivated at all."

"Not motivated? You're right, in fact I'm depressed."

I stole a glance at L before looking at Light as he continued.

"How come?"

"My whole theory was that you two were Kira, and now I don't know what to think."

"Is that how you feel Miss Birthday?"

I lazily looked up at Light's concerned gaze and rested my head on the side of the sofa, a soft sigh escaping my lips.

"No, I'd just rather be anywhere but here."

I closed my eyes, signalling my conversation with him was over as I vaguely listened to the boys talk.

"Ryuzaki..."

I bolted upright, upon hearing a crash and the chain around my wrist growing tighter as Misa rose and screamed. I glanced at where she was looking to see L sprawled out on the floor, Light in the same position. _What did I miss?_

"You know that really hurt..."

_Hurt_? Did Light just _punch _him? The mark on the side of L's face proved my theory as Light grabbed him by the collar of his shirt; forcing L to kick Light in the face. They both were sent tumbling once again. They _do _know that they're attached, _right_? I rose to my feet as both boys begun to go at each others throats, pulling Misa with me as I stepped in-between them both and tried to pry them apart.

"Stop it, you're acting like _children_!"

In the end I just ended up tangling myself in the chain and in a dumb move jutted my leg, causing us all to go hurtling to the floor. I groaned as I lay on the floor in pain. _This _is what I get for trying to help? L's legs sprawled over the top of mine, his bony knees digging into the back of my calf as he lay idly on my right rubbing his elbow. I was laid on the boys' chain, it digging into my stomach lightly at every hand gesture L made. The top of Light's head was next to my face, it hitting me in the cheek on our way down. His messy brown hair finding it's way up my nose as I puffed it away from me and looked to see Misa laid on top of him.

"Oh _Light_!"

She lay further down on him, wrapping her arms around his neck. The movement pulled the chain so my arm was straight, almost hitting Light in the face. I sighed and tapped the fingers of my other hand on the floor.

"_I hate you all_..."

**xXxXx**

I sat in the investigation room, an ice lolly pressed against my swelling cheek. All the while scowling at the boys. _Why _were men like this? All rough and tumble...

"You're going to waste that."

I clenched my jaw and looked at L who was currently staring at me.

"I'm going to waste _you_..."

"Is that a threat?"

"A promise."

He placed his thumb to his mouth as I screwed up my nose. I was about to ask him what he was thinking when I got a tug on my arm, having to stop my train of thought to stay seated on the chair.

"_I'm bored_. Let's go somewhere Birthday!"

"How about a long walk off a short pier?"

"Oh, don't be so mean Birthday. It'll be fun! We can go shopping or something! You look like you need some new clothes."

My eyebrow twitched. The only time I had been outside since the Kira investigation began was when we moved hotels and now to this new building L had built. _Money bags..._

"Misa, I don't want to go shopping."

"Then we'll get lunch. Come on!"

She tugged on the chain repeatedly in a childish manner, my arm lazily following each gesture. I rolled my head to look at L.

"You did this to me on purpose didn't you? You really hate me _that _much? You're so cruel Ryuzaki..."

"Being the only female you were the best choice. And I personally think that it would do you good to get out. You have seemed a little distressed lately after all."

I felt myself tense. He just wanted to get rid of Misa for a while; and I'm the scapegoat.

"Yay! Thanks Ryuzaki! Come on Birthday, this is going to be so much fun! A girls day out!"

She begun to pull me, forcing me to get off the chair and follow her I turned to look at L one last time.

"I _hate _you."

We had made it into town and despite my objection; _went shopping_. We got some odd looks from people since we were chained together, but it didn't seem to dampen Misa's spirits. _Mine on the other hand_...

"What would you like Birthday? I'm buying."

I looked up at the blonde from my menu.

"It's the least I can do for dragging you around town against your will. But you had to admit it was fun, wasn't it?"

I forced a smile, looking back down at the menu.

"Yeah... I'll have cheese and tomato on toast then."

The hyperactive girl nodded before calling over the waiter and gave our orders. I rubbed my temples, I wonder how the investigation was going. I should be there, _not here_.

"So Birthday, have you been on the Kira investigation from the start? You don't look Japanese."

_Duh_... Because I'm from the UK. If I don't look Japanese then I'm _obviously _not.

"Yeah, I transferred from America specifically for this case."

"So you want to catch Kira _that _badly? Man..."

She looked a little disheartened, and I suddenly got curious.

"What's with that look?"

"Because Kira is my hero."

She said it dreamily and I screwed my nose. _Hero_? I didn't have to ask as she continued anyway.

"Kira killed my parents' murderer. The police didn't do anything about it, but Kira did."

"I see, so he got vengeance for you and now you worship him. But don't you think it's wrong him killing off criminals?"

"Absolutely not. The world is a better place with Kira around. For what those people have done, they deserve to die."

I felt my expression darken. _B didn't deserve to die_.

"What if they had loved ones? Families? Friends? And Kira's taking them away from that."

Misa blinked lightly and pressed a finger to her cheek.

"I had never thought about that. But, either way they're going to be sent to prison for their crimes and hardly ever... _if ever _see those people again. if they _really _care about the people closest then why cause them the hurt of doing whatever crime they did?"

I blinked once; twice, probably a dozen times... _I had never thought of that_... and it came from _Misa_. A bitter smile came to my face and Misa noticed and gasped.

"_Oh my God_, you had a loved one in prison didn't you?! And Kira _killed _him! _Aye_, I'm so sorry, don't listen to me I-"

"Misa _relax_. You're wrong, I never had anyone like that in prison. I just never thought of that before."

It hurt saying that, I cared deeply for B and what she had said hit a nerve. _But she was right_... I knew that he was second guessing his decision. But his drive to beat L outweighed our friendship. Makes me wonder if he ever _truly _cared. Keeping me there with him just to leave me like that. B was insane, that much I knew. And he hadn't done what he did for _right _reasons to be fair. But he didn't deserve to _die_. Kira is a full scale murderer, so either way he has to be brought down. I just need to prove that it's Light. And with Misa on my arm it's going to be hard, I can't even talk to Hebi. But I can't help wondering... would I be any _different _from Kira if I kill L and him? And does L really deserve to die? He put B away for murder, he didn't know about the lifespan thing. He didn't know Kira would come along and kill him either. Was my rage clouding my judgement? When it came down to it could I _actually kill someone_? I sighed sat back in my seat, vaguely listening to Misa talk as our food arrived.


	20. My Dealt Hand

Another Kira... _a god damned third Kira_... we knew who it was. _Higuchi_. After Matsuda's stupid move Misa had to go for an interview at Yotsuba and somehow found out that he was Kira..._odd_. Even I was curious how she managed to attain that information. On the upside I was no longer tied to the girl because of it. But I wasn't worried about that now. What I _was _worried about was that we were currently watching Higuchi on the screen, trying to figure out how he kills. If he lets this slip then I'm _doomed_! They catch Higuchi, find out about the notebook, confiscate it, learn all it's secrets and then what? No more Kira, so if L, Misa and Light suddenly die the task force will surely know that it was someone within the group that did it. It would only be a matter of time until I was caught. And what if this Shinigami tells the others that I have a Death Note? Shinigami can see each other, as well as know when someone owns one of those books. That would look bad. Very, _very _bad.

"Miss Birthday, please don't worry yourself so much. We will succeed."

I smiled at L;_ that's what I'm worried about_. I continued to watch as Higuchi made the eye deal and killed a police officer. I gulped hard.

"He only needs a persons face to kill them now, apprehend him at once!"

L got up, Light following him without much choice.

"I have to go too. And then I'll find out the truth."

Oh, _this _is what I was worried about.

"L wait! Are you sure about this? If he sees your face-"

"He is going to be captured before I reveal myself to him, also he will be blindfolded so he will not know my name. Don't worry Miss Birthday. I assure you that I will return here alive."

Was he _mocking _me with that last statement? He headed off with Light, leaving the rest of us here. Oh, I had a _bad _feeling. I pressed my hand to my head, catching everyone's attention. Aizawa spoke to me.

"I understand that this is stressful Miss Birthday, but it's almost over. Don't be worried. If you like you can go take a break, we'll keep everything running here and will fill you in when you return."

I smiled at him and nodded, turning to take my leave to my room. I held up a hand when Misa tried to follow me. I had just recently gotten rid of her, I didn't need her following me. I raced to my room and grabbed a new pair of clothes and screwed them up in my arms before heading over to my bag, taking out the Death Note and hiding it in the clothes. L wasn't around, so he couldn't watch me. I quickly ran into my bathroom and dumped everything onto the floor, staring hardly at the book. It would be better to keep it in here somewhere, and now I had the chance move it's location I wasn't risking anything.

"Are you going to use it?"

I looked up at Hebi who was looking at me hesitantly. I shook my head, no.

"Not yet. I need L's name first."

"The case is coming to a close."

"I know that. And then I'll _never _see L again."

Why did it hurt more then I thought it would to say that? I thumped my fist on the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. _What was I going to do? _Unless Light and Misa magically get their memories and notebook's back I was out of options. So I had to wait for L to get back and kill him somehow. That means I have to... I jumped as my phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked it up and answered.

Hello?"

"Miss Birthday please come back here. Higuchi is dead! He just suddenly died of a heart attack! L is on his way back now."

_Dead_? I screwed my nose up.

"I'm on my way."

I hung up and leant my head against the bathroom wall. The cool marble feeling good against my clammy skin. He _died_...of a _heart attack_. A small smile crossed my face. _Kira was back._

"That sly bastard..."

Hebi chuckled a menacing laugh and I stood up before heading back to the investigation room, my bath could wait. Right now I had work to do. With Kira back on the scene, this investigation wasn't over yet. _I still had time._

**xXxXx**

I sat and watched as the team looked through the Death Note, keeping my distance and just listening as they rattled on about how to use the book. My attention was caught though on the last 2 rules. I fought back a smirk, Kira was smart. It seems he expected this to happen and wrote down 2 fake rules. _I don't give him enough credit_.

"Miss Birthday?"

I looked over at Matsuda from my position on the couch.

"You're the only one who hasn't touched the book to see the Shinigami."

I held my hand up and laughed nervously.

"N-no, I don't want to see it. I'm happy pretending that it doesn't exist."

L walked over to Matsuda and took the book from him before looking over at me.

"Well they do exist Miss Birthday, I assure you."

I looked down at the report in my hand, wanting this conversation to be over. I don't think I want to risk seeing this other Shinigami. It might be an error to do so but...

"I don't want to know."

I felt a sudden whack in my face. _What the hell? _I rubbed my face lightly before looking at my attacker. _The Death Note_. I scowled up at L, before looking at the Shinigami next to Aizawa. It was a lot different from Hebi.

"Well now you do."

I my attention was on L again before throwing the book back hoping to hit him but instead he just caught it. Much to my dismay.

"Jerk off."

"You don't look at all surprised Miss Birthday."

I banged my fist onto the arm of my chair.

"Maybe because all my shock just went into being_ bitch slapped in the face_!"

"I see..."

He handed the book back to Matsuda before returning to his computer, my eyes watching his every move like a hawk._ Just what was he up to_? What could he gain from me seeing this mighty God Of Death? I sighed and looked back at my report, not really paying attention. All I could think about was killing Misa, Light and L. _L dead_. Why was that thought suddenly appalling to me now? I looked up to see L leave the room. Just where was he going? I dropped my report and followed the slouched man out of the room.

"L, is everything ok?"

He looked at me lazily over his shoulder before facing forward again, avoiding my gaze.

"Yes Miss Birthday. I just need some time to myself is all."

"That doesn't sound like you."

"And how would you know what I'm like? You have only seen the side of me that is calculating and professional."

_Professional_? Sitting like a bird and eating sweets is hardly considered professional. I kept my mouth shut though, allowing the detective to continue.

"We all have sides that we don't want on show around others. Feelings, thoughts, turmoil. The list goes on."

"I have nothing to hide from you L."

The detective turned to face me and I felt my blood run cold. He was looking at me so intently, more so then when we first met face to face.

"I believe that you do Miss Birthday. Everyone does as I've said."

He turned and begun to ascend the staircase to the roof and I followed him, suddenly angry with him, despite knowing he was right. I had a big secret right now for instance. But my inner woman not wanting to lose to him like this.

"Just what is that supposed to mean? You said from the start that you trusted us or you wouldn't have revealed yourself to us. Doesn't that deem us honest people? Especially Matsuda."

We reached the top and he took in the night air, it was a cool night yet there was still a warm air from the recently hot day.

"I don't judge Matsuda. He is a very open person, as are the others."

I folded my arms over my chest in a light huff.

"So it's just _me _then? I knew you never liked me from the start. You're so cruel L."

I had said it in a joking manner, but my heart was thumping in my throat. Why was L being so suddenly open towards me _now_? He had never been in the past. But I had to carry on this rouse. I wasn't about to let this opportunity go to waste. A soft _hmm _left his throat as he turned to look at me.

"_Cruel_? Perhaps. But I do not dislike you Miss Birthday, so don't misjudge my words. I'm merely curious at what you have to hide. Being the most secretive one here and all."

I raised an eyebrow;

"I can't exactly have girl talk with any of you. And Misa is out of the question. I just don't have a lot to say."

"No, you never have. Have you?"

What was _that _supposed to mean? I screwed my nose up and walked around so I was standing directly in front of him, my eyes shining my unspoken question.

"I was hoping that you would be able to come to me regarding anything."

My breath caught in my throat. He _wanted _me to talk to him?

"Well I... I don't know what to say to that. I spend every waking moment around you so I suppose that everything that goes on in my life you are already aware of."

"That's true. I guess I'm just being silly."

Why did he sound disappointed? He rose his eyes to meet mine and I felt a sudden chill at the way he looked at me. I dropped my arms to my side and looked away from him at a speed I'm surprised my neck didn't snap.

"I'll leave you to some time by yourself. I'm sure you have a lot on your mind and me being around isn't helping any. Feel better soon L."

"I will."

I moved away from him and made a bee line for the door, dropping to my knees and supporting my weight on the wall next to me once I was out of sight. So that was his plan, for me to come clean... He hadn't said anything to make me feel like a guilty criminal, but he didn't have to. That brief look said it all. He _knew_... he knew _everything_...


	21. My Stand

**Ok everyone, this is the last chapter of '_How To Save A Life_'. The follow on is the oneshot '_Change Of Heart_' I hope that you all have enjoyed reading as much as I have enjoyed writing this, and I am contemplating a Sequel. But I'll let you readers be the judge of that. So without further delay, I present to you the final chapter. Please enjoy. :)**

**xXxXx**

I tore through the halls of headquarters, not fully aware of where I was, but knowing my exact location at the same time. _L knew_. All this time that bastard knew! I was merely a pawn in his game! I had to do it, and I had to do it _now_! I threw open the door to my room, briefly startling Hebi as I made my way to the bathroom and pulled out my Death Note from behind the toilet. I took a quick glance at the first blank page, staring at the pure white sheet before running my hand over it.

"Alessa."

I turned my attention to my Shinigami, his face twisting into what looked like shock-fury. I moved my gaze to the mirror before me. My face was flushed red and damp with sweat, my eyes red and watery from holding back tears.

"_Who did this to you_?"

His voice was low and threatening causing me to look at him. He really _was _a deadly Shinigami.

"He knew Hebi. All this time he knew. I was just a joke to him, some sort of play thing."

"He knew? How?"

I shrugged. I didn't know the answer to that. Had I made myself too obvious by using Beyond's sir name? Had he known from the start I had never killed myself? Had Misora told him of me when she saved Beyond? He had known that Beyond spouted mad talk about having the Shinigami eyes. Had he put it together once he knew the existence of Death Notes? There was many options; but it just proves he_ really is _the worlds best detective. He's managed to take down the 2 people best suited to surpass him. A wry smile crossed my face as I turned back to my Shinigami.

"He's beaten me Hebi..."

His face fell slightly until I slapped the Death Note close and held it out in front of him.

"But at least I can go out with a bang."

"You want to return the Death Note to me?"

He tilted his head confused and I lowered the book, his snake irises looking into my determined ones.

"No, I want you to give me the Shinigami eyes."

Hebi took a step towards me, his long jaw opening slightly in shock.

"Alessa, no... Please don't make me do this to you. You know that your life-"

"Is meaningless without Beyond."

Hebi closed his mouth as my eyes welled up with tears. Did _I _really believe that? I clutched the book to my chest, avoiding the Shinigami's gaze.

"All the time I've been here, as more days have gone by I've been second guessing killing L. I don't know why, but I just don't feel right doing it. I've put it down to the fact that I've never killed before. He doesn't care about me, not like I do him..."

I finally gained the courage to look at Hebi, a smile on my face.

"But I've also narrowed that down to because he looks like Beyond. I don't really care for him, I care for the fact he looks like my old friend. So now that I've spent too long trying to figure that out I've become sloppy in my work, and now he knows the truth. It's only a matter of time before he puts me away for attempted murder, but L isn't going to be the one to do it... because I'm going to kill him today. And in order to do that I need Beyond's eyes."

Hebi wiped a stray tear away before placing his clawed hand on my head, a sad smile on his face.

"I care strongly for you Alessa, and from the start I said I would do anything to make you happy. I just wish it didn't have to come down to this... I hope L's death will make you happy, rather than filled with grief and regret..."

I didn't have time to ask what he was talking about as he ran his hand down my face and over my eyes, clouding my vision for a moment before pulling away, a sad expression on his face.

"You're life has been halved and added to mine... you now possess the eyes of the Shinigami."

**xXxXx**

I had dawdled long enough. I spent almost 3 hours in my room, wanting to leave but never having the courage. Now I stand outside the investigation room, staring blankly at the iron door. I know the others are probably watching me on the camera wondering what I was doing, but I was...scared. _Very _scared. To see when someone is going to die for the rest of my life... this is what sent B mad... was this _one _person worth it? I took a deep breath, the Death Note rubbing against my stomach where I had tucked it into my jeans. A wry smile crossing my face._ Too late now_. I opened the door and walked in, expecting to see everyone there and a mass amount of floating numbers. _I did not_. Rather there was one person typing away at a computer away from me. I screwed my nose up; what was this?

"Hello?"

I received no answer and walked over to where I heard the clicking.

"Hello?"

Once I was close enough to the chair it moved and there sat L. My gaze on his intent onyx ones.

"Ah Miss Birthday, glad you finally joined me."

"Where are the others?"

"On break, like you were."

He turned back to the computer and carried on typing as I took a seat next to him, refusing to look at him. This would be the _perfect _opportunity! No one was around to see me write his name other than himself. And when he was dead it wouldn't matter what he saw. Then I could kill Misa and Light with no problems at all! Sure I would be found out eventually, but at least I'd get my wish. _Is _this what I wished for? Even with L dead... Beyond would still be...

"Are you alright?"

I looked at B's double, he looked genuinely concerned... All I had to do was look _up_... and I did._ L Lawliet_. That was his name.

"Yes, L... I'm fine."

He nodded and continued to type away at his computer as I stared at the name floating above his head for a while longer. So L _was _his real name. It was slightly humorous if you thought about how the world thought it was an alias. I pressed my hand to my stomach where the Death Note lie, looking at L's face. He looked peaceful, even when working. It made me smile... _He _made me smile. And now that it's come down to this, so close to the moment of truth; despite everything he put me through, everything _I _put _myself _through... I realized that I didn't want this man dead... _I loved him._


End file.
